Joke,husband n wife,must read,courtesy yahoo groups?

TO MY DEAR WIFE:





During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.


I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.


The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:





54 times the sheets were clean


17 times it was too late


49 times you were too tired


20 times it was too hot


15 times you pretended to be sleep


22 times you had a headache


17 times you were afraid of waking the baby


16 times you said you were too sore


12 times it was the wrong time of the month


19 times you had to get up early


9 times you said weren't in the mood


7 times you were sunburned


6 times you were watching the late show


5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo


3 times you said the neighbors would hear us


9 times you said your mother would hear us





Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:





6 times you just laid there


8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling


4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with


7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished


1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move





KEEP READING.......





======================================...








TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:





I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:





5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat


36 times you did not come home at all


21 times you didn't come with energy


33 times you came too soon


19 times you went soft before you got in


38 times you worked too late


10 times you got cramps in your toes


29 times you had to get up early to play golf


2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls


4 times you got it stuck in your zipper


3 times you had a cold and your nose was running


2 times you had a splinter in your finger


20 times you lost the motion after thinking about it all day


6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book


98 times you were too busy watching TV





Of the times we did get together:





The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.





I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"





The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
Joke,husband n wife,must read,courtesy yahoo groups?
that was nice..thanks for the laughs :)
Joke,husband n wife,must read,courtesy yahoo groups?
hahaha


v. funny !
Reply:Hilarious Who ever knew they each had different sides tot he same story
Reply:That last bit is funny.


It's pretty good.
Reply:lol :)
Reply:that was a good one!!!!!!!!! lol,,,,poor people these days,,,,,hit and miss,,,hit and miss,,,lol....
Reply:very funny. bets I've heard ever. rotflmao. keep up the good work!
Reply:LMAO! That was great! Thanks for the giggles!
Reply:very funny
Reply:oooooooooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkk but i guess it was funny
Reply:Lucky that it is just a joke. LOL, it might start an argument.
Reply:I loved this joke I'm still laughing.I am going to have my husband read this tonight.It just might help us get back on the right track.Thank you for this joke keep it up please.
Reply:That was pretty funny!!